Page Dante Rutherford, My best friend, My bro :)

            I was having great trouble in deciding on a topic to blog about this week. I searched through my mind for hours and for some reason, I just couldn’t think of anything. Eventually, I gave up searching my own mind and I decided to ask my best friend, Page Dante Rutherford, what I should blog about for Mrs. Caffey’s class.

            “Write about me!” he said. When I actually decided that I really was going to blog about him he tried to tell me he was kidding, but why not blog about my best friend? I do not see a problem with it at all. So today, I am going to explain to you guys why Page is such a great friend.

            Page seems to be misunderstood by a myriad of people. Many people will look at him and see a goofy “emo” kid. However, you can not be fooled by this boys looks because once you get to know him, he is one of the greatest people you could ever meet in this world.

            When Page moved to Holbrook in seventh grade I had no clue that he would become such a big part of my life. Our friendship started out with jealously. I was the jealous one, all over the stupid reason that he was better at guitar than I was. When we got put into a pair to work together in guitar class I was furious, but now I am more grateful than ever because that is was brought us together. He became my boyfriend!

–laughs- We were just little kids then so that did not last, but it has grown into something much more meaningful than just a junior high relationship, it grew into one of the best friendships I have ever found in this world.

            Page has such a big heart and he cares way too much for his own good. He is always worried more about you than he is about himself. He will drop everything to come to your side if you need him. It is hard to find friends like that, but lucky me, I found one. He tries to do anything he can just to put a smile on your face, and if you know Page, I am sure you know that he does that pretty well. :D

            Page is a loyal friend; he will stick with you through thick and thin, the good times and the bad times. No matter what I do or who I am, I know that my best friend will always be in my life, and I am eternally grateful for this. I must tell you, you are a lucky person to know this guy, and even luckier if you make him one of your friends because out of all the people I have met in this world, I know for a fact that Page Dante Rutherford will always be a true friend. He has a special place in my heart until the end of time. <3

-Love, Bridgette.

It is time to stop being stupid.

             Time for me to start making some smarter choices in my life, since lately I have ended up in a lot of trouble. So, guess what guys! I am quitting smoking, and this time I really plan to make it happen. I just got my car taken away for the stupid reason that I did not listen to my mom when she warned me several times.

            It is never fun to wake up to your mom holding a pack of Marlboro reds in your face saying she found them in your car. I was cornered basically and did not have much of a choice but to be honest and admit that they were my cigarettes. That was that, she took my keys that second. I can’t say I blame her though, she did warn me.

            “Next time I catch you with cigarettes Bridgette, I am taking your car”.

            Just the week before, she let me off the hook one last time. Lucky me, she did not even ground me when she got a call from the Snowflake police at two in the saying that their underage daughter just got caught with tobacco.  I came home with a ticket for “possession of tobacco as a minor”. Man, I just really wish I would have acted smarter and quit smoking a long time ago, or even smarter, never started smoking at all. Now look at all the trouble it has caused me.

            Let me give you some advice my friends, when your parents catch you doing something you’re not supposed to be doing, but they let you off the hook, do not go back and do it again. Karma definitely got me in this situation, but I think I have finally learned my lesson.

            It is now time for me to put my nasty, expensive, unattractive habit behind me. I know that this is going to be hard because honestly, I am quite addicted to cigarettes. I know that in the end this will be the absolute best thing I could do for myself.

            I hope none of you are stupid enough to start smoking like I did.

-Love, Bridgette the EX SMOKER :)

to the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

"I know that you love me and soon you will see, you were meant for me, and I was meant for you" 

                                                                                                                                                  - Jewel     

       Do you have a person in your life that you truly believe is here for a reason? Someone that completes you, makes you feel real, makes you feel alive. They are the person who makes you whole, almost as if they are your soul mate.
       A soul mate that might sound rather silly to some of you, but think about it. I've spent a great amount of time pondering the thought of a soul mate. What I believe is that it is very possible that everyone will find a soul mate along there path, possibly even several. A soul mate doesn't have to be the love of your life, the person you will spend forever with. I believe your soul mate can be your best friend, your relative, anyone really, and they don't have to be the love of your life. I find it possible that you may even find your soul mate with other living creatures besides humans, such as animals. Animals have souls to, whether you believe that or not is your choice, but I believe that an animals soul is very similar to a human beings soul. Lucky me, I am pretty sure that I have people in my life that are my soul mates. There is an undeniable connection between me and these people and myself, something unlike any casual friendship you might find... Something
       Think about someone that is special to you. Do you ever feel like you've known them way longer than you actually have? Almost as if you knew them in a past life, old friends just reconnecting in a new day and age. This may sound like just some crazy idea to you, but to me it is something that is real.
        I have a cousin that I didn't really know until I was fourteen years old. We had never talked much in the past, but one day at a big family gathering we decided to spend time together because neither of us felt like sticking around and chatting with all of our relatives. So we took off and just talked, getting to know every little thing about each other. We had so much in common and we just clicked, like sticking a magnet to a piece of metal. From that point on, I knew that my cousin Katelin was a gift, someone that I am very lucky to have in my life. I've made my cousin one of the most important people in my life and I plan to keep it that way. She has been there for me no matter what the situation is. Even though we lives hours apart, it doesn't change the fact that we have a connection with each other, one that stretches for miles and miles. I love my cousin with my entire heart. She made my life a brighter place when we became friends, and I know she is in my life for a reason. I'm here for her, and she is here for me, no matter where we are at in the world.
         Maybe you have found one of your soul mates and they are in your life today, or maybe they are still out there, just waiting to be found. They could be a stranger to you at this time, but you never know what might become of it.
- love Bridgette

Little Sister by Jewel

Some more lyrics for you guys :) enjoy.

"Little Sister"

Hey little sister I heard you went to Mr. So and So, knock knock knockin on his door
again last night, said you needed it bad-
you know that ain't right
'Cause so many times you've come to me cry-crying
trying to stop. you said it hurts so bad
But please don't let you
go back for more
My little sister is a Zombie in a body
with no soul in a role she has learned to play
in a world today where nothing else matters
but it matters, we gotta start feeding our souls
Not our addiction or afflictions of pain
to avoid the same questions we must
ask ourselves to get any answers
We gotta start feeding our souls
have been lost to the millions with lots
who feed on addiction selling pills and what's hot
I wish I could save her from all their delusions
all the confusion
of of a nation that starves for salvation
but clothing is the closest to approximation
to God and He only knows that drugs
are all we know of love
Every day we starve while we eat white bread
and beer instead of a hadshake or hug
We spill the pills and sweep them
under the rug
My little sister is a Zombie in a body
with no soul in a role she has learned to play
in a world today where nothing else matters
but it matters, we gotta start feeding our souls
Hey little sister I heard you went to Mr. So and So's
Knock, knock, knockin' on his door again last night
Said you needed more

A familiar face, stays in my memory.

Through the crowd you notice their face instantly. It's almost as if they are the only other person in the room. Your full focus becomes connected to them, then comes the sickening feeling, rising up from your stomach. Your throat tightens, feels like you're choking, and you have no other choice but to tear your gaze away from them before it drives you insane.

Have you ever had a moment like that? Where you run into someone that was painful for you to see. All of the memories flood back into your head, making you feel weak. I had a moment like that yesterday while I was in Showlow for a choir trip.

It was the last place I would have thought I’d see this person, but as I walked through the doors into the Showlow auditorium, there she was.

It was like running in a brick wall. I had to quickly turn the opposite direction and just walk away as my mind threatened to explode.

            Why the heck was she there? Did she see me? Should I go back and talk to her? Should I ignore her completely? Should I just run away?
            Maybe it is ridiculous, but I felt sick to my stomach. I knew I couldn’t hide for forever, so after a while I decided to go into the auditorium and sit by Tucker. I spotted him and as I made my way across the room, I realized that she was sitting two rows in front of him. So, avoiding her didn’t really work. As I took my spot next to Tucker, she turned around, realizing who I was.
            “Hey” she said with a smile, and turned back around to face the stage. I guess that was it. She didn’t look at me again. I guess, it went exactly how I expected it to go… For the rest of the day I struggled to keep the thoughts of her out of my head. Seeing her and having her not even give me a second glace is just another reminder to me that I shouldn’t let it tear up my heart anymore, sometimes it’s just hard you know?
            Yesterday, the crack in my heart ached a bit, fresh with the pain that I try to put behind me. But today, I will do my best to shrug it off my shoulders and accept the situation for what it has turned out to be. She seemed happy, so I should do my best to make myself happy too.
            Sometimes, it’s hard not to hurt when you see that familiar face. It’s hard not to travel back in time and remember every moment you spent with that person. It’s hard to accept those moments as part of the past and not the present…
            Next time you have a moment like this, where you run into someone it’s painful to see, just let yourself remember. Embrace the memory behind that familiar face, but let yourself rise above the pain. As cheesy as it sounds, remember it’s a new day, and things can be okay.
Love, Bridgette...

The Hunger by The Distillers

Just Sharing some more lyrics with you guys :)

Holy eyes, I never knew I'd beg down at your feet
Hold on tight I never knew I'd know much more than this
Open sky, the wave of pain the scent of you is bliss
Hungry eyes, they stare at me I know, I know
Don't go!

Summertime, the taste of saint secretes of perfume mist
Console the mind, I take it in the lips of pink I kiss
Lonely sky, the more you take the more that I give in
Holy eyes, I never knew, I know, I know
Don't go!

Hold on to the memory, yeah, it's all you got
I know you'll be there to soak up blood lost
Blood lost
Blood lost

Don't go!

Hold on to the memory, yeah, it's all you got
I know you'll be there to soak up blood lost
Hold on to the memory, yeah, it's all you got
I know you'll be there to soak up blood lost
Blood lost
Blood lost

Oh Comely by Neutral Milk Hotel

I just wanted to share with you the lyrics of this song. They are lovely to me. I hope you enjoy them. Tell me what you think the meaning behind this song is :)



"Oh comely, I will be with you when you lose your breath,
Chasing the only meaningful memory you thought you had left.
With some pretty, bright and bubbly terrible scene
That was doing her thing on your chest.

But oh comely,
It isn't as pretty as you'd like to guess
In your memory, you're drunk on your awe ,to me
It doesn't mean anything at all.

Oh comely,
All of your friends are all letting you blow,
Bristling and ugly, bursting with fruits falling out from the holes
Of some pretty, bright, and bubbly friend
You could need to say comforting things in your ear

But oh comely,
There isn't such one friend that you could find here.
Standing next to me,
He's only my enemy
I'll crush him with everything I own.

Say what you want to say
Hang for your hollow ways
Moving your mouth to pull out
All your miracle aimed for me.

Your father made fetuses with flesh licking ladies,
While you and your mother were asleep in the trailer park.
Thunderous sparks from the dark of the stadiums,
The music and medicine you needed for comforting.
So make all your fat fleshy fingers to moving,
And pluck all your silly strings, bend all your notes for me.
Soft silly music is meaningful magical,
The movements were beautiful, all in your ovaries.
All of them milking with green fleshy flowers,
While powerful pistons were sugary sweet machines.
Smelling of semen all under the garden
Was all you were needing when you still believed in me.

Say what your want to say.
Hang for your hollow ways.
Moving your mouth to pull out
All your miracle aimed for me.

And I know they buried her body with others,
Her sister and mother and five-hundred families.
And will she remember me fifty years later?
I wished I could save her in some sort of time machine.

Know all your enemies.

We know who our enemies are.

Goldaline, my dear,
We will fold and freeze together
Far away from here.
There is sun and spring and green forever.

But now we move to feel for ourselves inside some stranger's stomach.

Place your body here,
Let your skin begin to blend itself with mine."